I both do and don't see myself very deeply in this book.
I see my experiences in Hannah's second-wave feminist mother, and her struggle to even try and grasp things. I see her mother's struggle to try and think that her prescription is love, that by merit of trans people being mistreated in society somehow any modicum of regret is immediately viewed as detransition.
I see myself in Hannah's cynicism with the ritual of trans people as something to understand, with the ritual of running around and giving out your name and pronouns. I think about this a lot, since Hazel is deeply nonbinary, and they're confined to this ritual no matter how they present.
I see myself in the view of gender as being something built over time. I think about this a lot by merit of being part of a multiple: if I was singular, if I was alone, there are a lot of choices I wouldn't make. But would I still be a girl? My gender experiences are deeply aligned with that of binary womanhood, but because I'm part of a multiple I've had deep experiences with manhood and nonbinary and proto-trans-girl while others were in front. Does that vindicate my own experience of gender? Does it makes it more stark?
I see myself in Hannah's frustration with truscum and TERFs, but in a very specific way. It's very reminiscent of my experiences struggling to fit in traditional queer spaces, especially ones filled with young people. The kind of people for who kink-at-pride "discourse" is even a thing that exists.
In a way, this book basically taught me that the questions that I ask about myself are moot. That the very notion of trying to capture these experiences itself distills them.
This book made me want to do K. Highly recommend.
