Fifty Shades of Grey

This is a review of a rework.

As far as fan fiction is concerned, 50 Shades of Grey and Master of the Universe (based on the Twilight Saga) are essentially the same. A major difference is that Edward and Bella’s names have been changed to Christian and Anastasia, respectively. My knowledge of this comes from the fact that I have both and that I switch between them occasionally while reading with no difficulty.

To me, it seems obvious. There is no difference in the mannerisms of the characters. There are even similarities between the things they say and what the original characters said. Especially Edward’s “dazzle” line and asking Bella to trust him. Besides being incompetent in the romantic dependency, her mother remarried. Edward’s troubled past still motivates Bella to save him from himself. The only difference now is that Edward can hit Bella when she strays too far.

Christian Grey is condescending, controlling, possessive, and cruel. It is impossible for Ana to behave as she normally would. Therefore, she puts up with it. She believes that by giving him what he wants, when he wants, and as often as he wants, she will eventually be able to win him over. What are the chances of it working? Most likely in the books. How does it work in reality? In most cases, no. How various women will waste their lives on some jerk because they have read shit like this and think it will come true for them? I have known women like this. There’s a sad, lonely side to him, and if I could only understand what’s wrong, I could change him!

There seems to be a theme of rape. Christian tells Ana he enjoys having complete and total control over another person. Not just in the bedroom, but in Ana’s entire life. He cannot yield when Ana rejects, plunging on regardless, confident she will enjoy whatever he does, so why bother ceasing?

There are women out there who think this is romantic.

As the book finishes, Ana flees in emotional turmoil because Christian cannot provide what she needs.

Now I’m wondering why this book is so popular. What is it about this book that appeals to so sufficient women?

This is a review of a rework.

As far as fan fiction is concerned, 50 Shades of Grey and Master of the Universe (based on the Twilight Saga) are essentially the same. A major difference is that Edward and Bella’s names have been changed to Christian and Anastasia, respectively. My knowledge of this comes from the fact that I have both and that I switch between them occasionally while reading with no difficulty.

To me, it seems obvious. There is no difference in the mannerisms of the characters. There are even similarities between the things they say and what the original characters said. Especially Edward’s “dazzle” line and asking Bella to trust him. Besides being incompetent in the romantic dependency, her mother remarried. Edward’s troubled past still motivates Bella to save him from himself. The only difference now is that Edward can hit Bella when she strays too far.

Christian Grey is condescending, controlling, possessive, and cruel. It is impossible for Ana to behave as she normally would. Therefore, she puts up with it. She believes that by giving him what he wants, when he wants, and as often as he wants, she will eventually be able to win him over. What are the chances of it working? Most likely in the books. How does it work in reality? In most cases, no. How various women will waste their lives on some jerk because they have read shit like this and think it will come true for them? I have known women like this. There’s a sad, lonely side to him, and if I could only understand what’s wrong, I could change him!

There seems to be a theme of rape. Christian tells Ana he enjoys having complete and total control over another person. Not just in the bedroom, but in Ana’s entire life. He cannot yield when Ana rejects, plunging on regardless, confident she will enjoy whatever he does, so why bother ceasing?

There are women out there who think this is romantic.

As the book finishes, Ana flees in emotional turmoil because Christian cannot provide what she needs.

Now I’m wondering why this book is so popular. What is it about this book that appeals to so sufficient women?

BIG LOL @ THIS BOOK

I'm doing a summer reading bingo for fun at my work, and one of the squares is "read something outside of your regular genre." So, I figured I'd go big and attempt to read 50 Shades of Grey because it's the furthest thing from my usual genres. Mostly I read fantasy, sci-fi, young adult, and oh, I don't know, books that have healthy relationships... you get the picture.

I got about 125 pages in and honestly couldn't read any more. My stomach actually turned while reading a chapter during breakfast this morning, so that was a big mistake on my part. Between Ana's monologues about her "inner goddess" doing whatever kind of dance- a tango, a salsa, or imitating a washing machine (yes that actual metaphor was used), her "somnambulant self-consciousness" with an extremely awkward explanation of where the medulla oblongata is, reading the phrase "biting her lip" no less than 30 times in the first 100 pages, and the cherry on top of this awful sundae: the BDSM "contract" that Grey has Ana sign for their """"consensual"""" relationship.

I knew this book was bad but I didn't know it was this bad.

I read this to see why it's sold 100 million copies. I'm stunned. Saddened really. The writing is atrocious. I think it's the first time I've ever seen the exclamation "crap" ever used in narrative, let alone overused. Any page from this book would fail almost every Intro to Creative Writing course offered in the English language.
It's obvious that she writes with her browser open to Thesaurus.com. I had to stop after reading 25% of this... thing. It was just too painful.

A few examples plucked from any random page:

Even ill she looks gamine and gorgeous.

But holy crap, he's so arrogant.

I valiantly attempt to calm down and gather my thoughts.

I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of the communist manifesto.

I am quaking like a leaf.

he languidly pushes into me.

Holy shit. His words. He's so seductive. He takes my breath away.

"The irony is not lost on me," he smiles sardonically.

Why does one man need so much space? Two sinks, I notice with irony.